Terrible No More

I remember as a child I would occasionally stare out the window at the moon, or simply into the darkness of my room at night, and ask myself, "What is this? What IS life?" As I asked these questions, I would begin to feel slightly dizzy, a sort of vertigo would overcome me, and I would get the feeling that everything I felt was "real" was some sort of illusion. Inevitably I would think of my family and of Heavenly Father; eventually I would turn over and go to sleep knowing that in the morning everything would go back to normal. Now, years later, after many, many experiences, I have come to confront that feeling that, at times, was terrible.

I don't know why some people are more compelled to really think about what "it" all means while others are content to watch hours and hours of television without giving "it" a second thought. Hugh Nibley called them the "terrible questions": Who am I? Where did I come from? Where am I going? These questions are called "terrible" because challenge everything in the world view of the man who refuses to face them with honesty and a genuine desire to find out their answers. When the end of mortal life comes to the rich man who has worshipped money his whole life, or to the man who has denied the existence of God or who denies that one can come to know the answers to these questions, these questions loom there; they cannot be ignored. I can at least respect the person who says, "There is no God. I answered these questions for myself." I cannot fathom these conclusion and, of course, I vehemently disagree, but at least that man has confronted the question. I hold fast to the belief that a "true atheist" does not exist because every one worships something as their "god" whether it be money, an ideology, a hope, a fear, or any number of thought constructs. The answer, as some say, is always there, in plain sight. Indeed, I believe that most of what we learn is not actually new information, it is something REMEMBERED. The test, you might say, is who of God's children has enough will power to remember? How much have you fallen for the illusion of this world? Will you turn your back in it or wallow in it like a pig stuck in the mire?

I often think about what makes some people more apt than other to "really think" and I have my ideas about why and a lot of it has to do with who they really are and what they did before they came here, but that answer doesn't really make a lot of sense to most of the people that fall into the latter category because it assumes some knowledge about who we are and where we came from!

It is my intention that this little blog be something on the side for me, not something to showcase or send out mass emails. If you stop by and check it out and decide to read and comment, that's all the better. I suppose I plan on setting it apart for those individuals who like to "really think." I don't promise to share hidden knowledge or mind blowing ideas, indeed most of the "deepest thoughts" or personal revelations I hold dear to my heart for not everything God gives a man is to be shared. I do, however, think that it's both thought provoking and healthy to share ideas so that we can learn together and be edified and instructed. Although the most edifying and instructive places are not blogs but rather houses of worship, temples, and our own homes, there is nothing wrong in my view of using modern technology to share ideas and the most important ideas are not political or news stories but rather the stories and ideas of our own individual lives.

I'll be right up front about two things: first, I am a Christian, I believe in Christ; secondly, I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. There are many who would point out that those two statements are contradictory. I beg to differ. I love all people, including those who would challenge my Christian beliefs, and I hope that people will judge me by the fruits of my labors and the content of my character. All that being said, this blog is obviously not affiliated with the LDS church in any way other than that I am member of the said church in good standing. Indeed, it's not my desire to make this out to be an "LDS" blog, but rather a repository for some of my own personal thoughts and items, from any source, that I find of value and that contain truth or some portion of truth. I intend to "drop off" news stories, scientific theories, excerpts from books, movies, articles, other blogs, music lyrics, etc. that stimulate or pique my interest as I think about those "terrible questions."